Grayson and Rylee

A Heart Happy Christmas

2011-12-26T00:16:00.001-06:00

I'm keeping it short and sweet this year only because I'm so far behind. Yes, I suck....I'm not perfect. I am a mom of two.

And so it is.....

Our Family Christmas. His 5th and her 2nd.

We spent the majority of the time with family this year.

Nana and Rylee cooking in the kitchen

while we we played Night Lines in the Neighborhood Park. I must say, it was the most difficult, yet most fun version, that we've ever played. Team "Y" took the trophy this year while Team "X" cried like babies. The annual Wii tournament lasted until the Wiiiii hours of the night and finally produced 3 champions...Kevin, Tristan, and Kya.

We celebrated Uncle Scott and Kya's birthday and stayed up wayyyyy too late.

Grayson opened every present that he had "ever hoped for"

and Sister just wanted to drift off to La La Land

on her new "Big Girl" pillow.

I could have unwrapped her and been content for the rest of the year.

While we were at Nana and Pawpaw's....

someone was busy at our house putting presents under our tree. Mommy's secret camera caught him in the action!
*******************************************************************************

The next morning (Christmas Eve) we woke up to a room full of presents and almost all of Santa's milk and cookies had been devoured.

Grayson got the coolest rocket ship EVER!!

He also opened an Optimus Prime Transformer and the Cars 2 Movie!

Sister got her very own Iphone (just like Mommy's) and a smart remote and Blackberry just like Daddy's. She's very into technology these days.

She opened a sweet baby who had a sassy just like hers

and pretty little pink princess house shoes.

Mommy got exactly what she had been wishing for....

a beautiful new lens for her camera and the perfect lime green bag to tote it in!

Daddy got new boots that he promises NOT to go hunting in and new hunting gloves and cologne.

It was a perfect little Christmas at our house!

Thankful

2011-11-26T10:30:00.000-06:00

This Thanksgiving, Grayson was thankful for "his school and Kelly's cats".

If Rylee could talk.....she would probably say that she is thankful for "Cheetos and

watermelon".....they both bring her lots of joy.

I am thankful for many things. Here are a few:

~I am thankful for my faith and for my relationship with Jesus Christ.

~I am thankful for our family...that they live close enough to see often and that they get to have an amazing relationship with my children.

~I am thankful to have been blessed with two beautiful, healthy children.

~I am thankful for a loving husband who supports my love of photography and lets me take away precious time from him and our children so that I can enjoy my hobby.

~I am thankful for my relationship with my Mom....she's my best friend.

~I am thankful that I have incredible in-laws who I love just as much as my parents.

~I am thankful that no matter what I do or say, my Daddy still looks at me like I am his little girl who can do no wrong.

~I am thankful for marrying my soul mate and living my happily ever after with him.

Thanksgiving makes me happy.

They make me happy.

I am SO happy!

This Little Light of Mine

2011-11-23T23:30:00.004-06:00

Shine it Sister!

It's About That Time!!

2011-11-21T23:19:00.001-06:00

To untangle the Christmas lights...

And pretend to be Santa delivering gifts.

35 Days. The countdown is on!

My Lovie

2011-11-20T16:16:00.001-06:00

Looking at her, I am reminded of God's love for me. I know I am biased as she is my daughter, but I can not stop looking into her big, ridiculously blue eyes. There is something about the look she has on her face that completely tells her story.

I see so many of the little facets of her personality peeking through and am reminded of her sweet yet intense nature. Isn’t it AMAZING how these tiny little people are born with a personality? From the minute we met her she was sweet, spunky, and intense and things have not changed one bit since then.

Our spunky little sprite!! There are so many parts of my children’s personality that don’t include them smiling perfectly and I just love it when I capture something like this.

Oh Punky! You don't want to eat dem apples!

These Two.....

2011-11-14T22:37:00.009-06:00

Unmeasurable joy times two.

Period.

Career Day

2011-11-10T23:23:00.000-06:00

"Grayson, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A police officer".

"Why do you want to be a police officer?"

"So I can drive super fast and help people and write tickets."

"What will you wear?"

"I wear a uniform and a badge and hand gloves."........"hand cuffs"

"Do you work inside or outside or both?"

"Both."......and "And I get to drive a cop car, too!"

2011-11-01T01:03:00.001-05:00

She'll never quite understand that she has the voice of an angel......

He'll never quite understand the importance of his existence....

Together, they will do beautiful things.

A Pink Eyed Mario and Lil' Lady Bug with Martian Poop

2011-10-31T22:35:00.015-05:00

Sounds like a weird plot to a nightmare, but no, oh no......this was our Halloween.

Yay us!

I think I have one picture of the two of them together for Halloween this year. Just one.
(And he's not in costume)

On October 31, 2011, Grayson woke up with Pink Eye and Lil Sister had some sort of weird-martian-green-spongy-poop-virus. Double Yay!

So we threw on our costumes and trick or treated at the drive thru at our bank, McDonald's (because $1 sweet tea makes EVERYTHING better), and a random 7-eleven gas station off I35 in Lake Dallas because Grayson "felt like frowin' up" but instead had an accident with his other end.

PURE AWESOMENESS.

We came home with accidently-pooped-on costumes and changed into our pj's. We pulled ourselves together and sang Happy Birthday to Pawpaw, ordered pizza, and played Wii with the porch light off.....because really??? Who wants us to open our door and treat them to all of our nastiness?

A week later and the costumes have been dry cleaned and put away in hopes of being worn in public next year. I bought them a little big, so maybe just maybe, Mario and Lady Bugs are still in style.

Homecoming Parade

2011-10-29T00:14:00.000-05:00

It was a hot and steamy September day. Daddy was working out of town and Mommy had had about enough of the "I'm Bored"....."I Need A Snack"....."I Don't Need A Nap, I'm In School Now"......"MAAAAAMAAAAA".

So she packed up her Littles, with rain boots and umbrellas and brown paper sacks and headed to what seemed like a promising fun adventure.....despite the rain.

Did I mention "free entertainment"?

No this wasn't our town's Homecoming.....but who are you to judge?

With a hop, skip, and a jump across Highway 380, we had found happiness.

It was Downtown Prosper's Homecoming Parade and it delivered!!

With floats and firemen

horses and candy

Grayson and Sister made out like bandits!

Good thing since Halloween was going to be a letdown this year....more on that later.

Did I mention the dancing????

This was Bubba's happy dance:

To him, those kids on the floats were just as awesome as any famous pop star or NFL player.

And I.....I was the Awesome Mommy who let them eat Sonic for supper and sucker after sucker after sucker for dessert.

But all the sugar in the world couldn't have been sweeter than this.

This is my life. Everyday.

I heart days like this!

Happy Fall Ya'll!

2011-10-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Grayson invited us to join him and his class at The Big Orange Pumpkin Farm in Celina this past Fall. We have been going to this very pumpkin patch since he was 2 months old and now, I must say, it's a little different.....friends were calling for him to sit with them on the hayride or to come with them to feed the animals or to sit on "their" blanket for the picnic lunch. It was heartwarming and gut-wrenching all at the same time. Here was my little Big boy with all these new little friends...and all he wanted to do was sit right here....

...with her.

These two are inseparable these days!!

She wants to do everything he does, eat everything he eats, and have everything he has.....and if you don't give it to her, she'll scream until she gets it.

She looks up to him the way I remember looking up to my Bubba, thinking he was the coolest person in the world...and still do to this day.

Oh little Big boy, you make your Momma so proud!! You are the best big brother EVER and I just can't stop staring at you growing so big before my very eyes. You tell me everyday, "Mom, I'm gonna be 5 on August 10".....yeh, I know sweetie. I know. You don't care that you just turned 4 two months ago, you just can't wait to be 5.

And Oh Sister!! Seeing the world through your big beautiful blue eyes, it makes me wonder how there can be any ugly in the world. Everything you see is amazing and funny and you are just awestruck with the goings on of the world. Well, we are awestruck with you, princess.

This time last year you were nestled in the Moby wrap all content with just being held and Grayson, you wanted to see just how far you could kick each pumpkin.

This year Rylee, all you wanted to do was walk down the rows and rows of pumpkins.....unfortunately you haven't quite mastered the art of walking so you would take a step or two and then crawl the rest of the way through the muddy field whining because you do not like to be dirty.

And Grayson,

you were so excited about finding the perfect pumpkin to take home and paint for you and Sissy! You'd pick one up,

give it a once over, find a bruise or a weird mark, and toss it aside and look for another. It had to be perfect!

Rylee, this was your very first experience with Chick Filet sweet tea and I must say....

Sister likes her some sweet tay!

"I'll love you forever....

I'll like you for always....

As long as you're living, my babies you'll be."

The 3 Reasons That I've Been M.I.A.

2011-10-12T23:45:00.000-05:00

1. A certain big boy started school in September and my days fly by way too fast.

2. A certain little sprite has started walking and I find myself either chasing after or cleaning up after every.thirty.seconds.

3. A certain someone has decided to start their own photography business and between creating a website, doing photo shoots every weekend, editing, and still being a mom, wife, daughter and friend.....my poor little blog has been neglected.

The neglect ends now.

His Very First Day

2011-09-06T19:24:00.002-05:00

of Preschool.

And Mommy handled it well...

....for the most part.

Always Make Time For A Good

2011-09-02T19:13:00.000-05:00

SWORD FIGHT!!!

FORE. for. FOUR.

2011-08-28T16:17:00.001-05:00

We braved the August heat last night to head out to a bowling alley after one of those itches hit me out of nowhere. "Let's go bowling." Similar but less successful spontaneous itches in my past have included "I'm going to color my hair platinum," "I'm going to sell Mary Kay," and "I'm going to apply for a job at Victoria's Secret." These ended in purple fried hair, a closet full of make-up I never sold, and getting banned from ever being hired by any Limited company forevermore, respectively.

But bowling? Bowling delivered.

It was Gray's 4th birthday and he was super stoked!!

Bowling, Putt Putt, Pizza, and Video Games???? Every four year old's dream!!

Grayson took right to the three-fingered grip of a bowling ball and quickly mastered the art of delivering a roll that would produce the least amount of momentum necessary to keep a ball moving. It took like three minutes for the ball to make it to the end of the lane, and then pins fell in sloooooowwww motttttiiiiiooon, one by one.

Insert victory dance.

We eyeballed another preschooler with her family using some sort of miraculous bowling contraption that seemed to move the ball down the lane a tad bit quicker than snail speed.....

....so we snatched ourselves one and it was magical!

I discovered some very important things one needs to know about bowling.

Things I Discovered About Bowling:

1) That alarm that beeps when your foot slips into the slick, waxed surface of the bowling lane? It's there for a reason. You will fall. Hard. Like arms in the air and legs parallel to the ground kind of fall. Just ask my husband.

2) If you forget socks, you can buy them at a bowling alley. From a vending machine, and they're only jacked up six times the regular cost of socks.

3) Bowling shoes are adorable. Keep telling yourself that.

4) Unlike golf, low scores don't win. Shoot.

5) No matter how many times your husband tries to pay off the music control guy to stop playing Nickelback, he won't.

6) Wow, I really do know all the words to Nickelback's "Far Away"......and it gives Kevin the heebie jeebies.

7.) Not everyone thinks it's funny when you talk in a Southern accent all night and holler "Hallelujah, sweet Baby Jesus" after anyone strikes.

8.) Waving your arms like this to make the ball go to the right does not make the ball go to the right.

9.) If you throw the ball so cockeyed, it bounces in another lane, someone will get it for you.

10.) While waiting for your next turn to bowl, you can kill time by choreographing spare and strike victory dances, disappearing before everyone's very eyes....while sneakily drinking your sippy cup,

giving fake bowling lessons or impersonating Main Event tour guides even though there is no such thing as a Main Event tour. But if there was, it would begin with "Here at Main Event, we..." In a thick Southern accent, of course.

It was fun--being all holed up, literally, in a dark cool alley, while outside was a scorching 105 degrees at 7pm.

105 temps can make you do strange things. Very strange.

Yay Summer.

Sister wanted only one thing--to break free from the shackles of her stroller and high-tail it down the lane.

She got close once, but struck out, no pun intended. Okay, totally intended.

We dined on high class pizza and cheese fries and split a few pitchers of much-needed "adult yumminess" and bowled our hearts out.

We then ventured over to the 9 hole putting green that we turned into our very own 81 hole putting green......it was a Monday night and the place was a ghost town.

And our genius 4 year old quickly figured out that when the ball drops into the hole on "9", you just have to reach down, turn the key to the lock box, and Waah La......there's your ball!

After a few hours of bowling and golfing and pizza eating, we were all worn out.....and Sissy was out of snacks and out of patience. How dare we not let her crawl around that immaculate bowling facility????

It was a picture perfect night with our little family of four.

Happy 4th Birthday Little Man!!

~Mommy

And A Party It Was!

2011-08-20T21:10:00.000-05:00

To celebrate Rylee's 1st birthday and Grayson's 4th, we I decided to throw a Carnival Party.

Now, Kevin may think that I am completely insane for starting the planning in January, but I....I beg to differ.

You can't create perfection on a whim. And I wanted our little girl's first....our last baby's first birthday and our son's last "toddler" birthday to be AMAZING!!! He's starting pre-K in two weeks after all.....no longer a "little" in most eyes.

Mommy is definately not "most eyes".

So our babies had a party. And it was just as it should be.

Thank you to all of my friends for being there. All 76 of you.

Usually when you send out invites, you expect maybe 3/4 to show up.....maybe half.

We had every.single.person. except for six, show up.

WOW.

Can you even begin to imagine the love that was felt in that room?

For those of you who have done this, you know what that first birthday means. It's a medal of honor, a celebration, a flag at the peak of a summited mountain. It is a memory of that very day, and it is bittersweet. Mostly sweet, hardly bitter, yet before the party started, I held her close and cried. Because I can't forget--don't want to forget--that second that changed my life.

And with him. That little boy, who is no longer a baby...but not yet a preschooler. Caught somewhere in between. Oh, how I love my babies.....every inch of them!

Overall, I searched for moments of meaning and found them. I mined my heart for any rawness, any unsettled grief, and prepared to feel a bit sad, but mostly? Mostly, I felt peace and love and contentment. The events of last year have been sewn together seamlessly with our present, and I hardly recognize anymore where the past shifts into right now.

My favorite photo of the day, my angel loves.

We had a carnival, all right.

With a photo booth

and games.

Pappi held on tight to Sis as she got her first tat!

She can rock a princess tattoo like no other!!

Prizes.

There was cotton candy, popcorn, and hotdogs.

There were 1st birthday wishes

and first birthday meltdowns.

Best friends making memories on Nana's piano

and sugar highs being induced!

We had rockets land on the roof.

And toothbrushes handed out in goody bags.

Little ones taking their first steps way.too.early.

And Miss Sassy loving every minute of it!!

It was a PERFECT day....in Mommy's eyes!

And Daddy's.

Hey Beautiful Girl!! I Think You Are Fabulous!

2011-08-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

The boots, the pearls....LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!

Rylee's Birth Story

2011-08-15T01:22:00.001-05:00

A year later:

I wrote your birth story last night. I have been meaning to attach words to the unearthly beautiful experience for quite some time now and, with a little prompting, I finally sat down and did it.

It's not your birthday....yet, but, nevertheless...it needed to be done and last night seemed a proper night to do it.

Whew.

Okay.

You and Gray are asleep, Daddy's watching a movie, and I am in my corner with the computer, a glass of red, and the looming greatness of putting something beautiful into words. I've put it into pictures...and pieced it together with music, but words? Hard to do.

The day before my wedding, someone told me to go buy a journal and write everything I could possibly remember that day so that I didn't forget...because she promised me, if I didn't, that I would indeed forget. Best advice. Before we left for our honeymoon, I bought a red-velvet covered blank book and I did nothing else on our 3-hour flight but scribble, scribble, scribble. Every thought. Every sound. Every sight. Every scent. Every emotion. And I'm so glad I did...because I never want to forget that beautiful day, and without my little written memories, so much of it would be lost.

I wish I would have done the same with your birth. But I was just completely exhausted with life, and your brother......making sure that he was having the best.last.summer.ever.as.a.single.child....and when we finally got home from the hospital, I was so emotionally drained, and so entirely wrapped around your presence, I couldn't do it. And I've told myself so many times since, that I really needed to go and write while I could remember...

And it is until now...that you, sweet Rylee bug, have held me accountable.

And my account now, 1 year after, is probably a bit different than what it would have been if I would have set to the task sooner...but nevertheless...I will tell you what I will remember. And being asked to tell one's birth story is, to me such a beautiful invitation. Nothing I'd rather talk about. ...but words are hard to find.

May be the wine...may be Addison Road in the background...may be the raw emotion of wanting to be pregnant again...or the sheer beauty in these memories, but regardless...tears are already spilling. And it feels good. Really good, baby girl!

I loved being pregnant. Every single moment. Was sick as a dog for 13 weeks and lost seven pounds my first three months but would do it again a trillion times over. I loved knowing, no matter where I was...that I wasn't alone...that it was me & someone else. I couldn't wait until my tummy got huge and round and what I wouldn't do....oh, for the love of all things holy, what I wouldn't do to feel you kick again. I loved being pregnant. I loved it, loved it, loved it. And the night before I knew I was going to have you...I cried because, despite the fact I was just sick with excitement to meet you, hold you, love you...I knew you wouldn't be a part of me physically anymore. That is the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to a human. Ever.

Thank you, Eve.

I'm glad she ate that apple, you know? I'm so glad she ate it.

So...anyway. In the middle of all this pregnancy thing, I had the most wonderful, beautiful doctor ever. She's just good and kind and I never had to see anyone else but her...and I never worried about anything because I had no reason to. We had a connection. Your brother was born

on her birthday and even though she had been out to dinner that night, celebrating herself with family and friends.....she still came in to deliver him. At 10:59 p.m. on her birthday.

Funny...since I had your brother, many of my friends have been pregnant and they'll ask me, "Did you have the triple marker test? Were you nervous about the blood test at twenty weeks? Did you...blah, blah, blah" and I seriously can't remember ever ever being nervous or scared or anxious. I just knew you (we) were fine...and my doctor was a huge part of that. Which is why I was induced because, she was leaving on vacation on a Saturday for two weeks and the Monday before she left, my ultrasound showed me ready to go...and I couldn't bear the fact of one of her colleagues--Someone I had never met--being part of the most amazing event in my life. So, we decided together to choose my date.

8/17/10.

I went in on a Tuesday morning at 5:30 and when I close my eyes...I remember everything.

I wore a black dress and sparkly black flip flops and my necklace....the one with your and your brother's name on it. And I remember that the nurse who checked me in and got me into bed....her name was Michelle, just like my best friend and the nurse who took my blood, her daughter's name was Riley...spelled different from yours...but none the less, it was my sign that everything was just as it should be.

I remember Michelle asking me if I just felt that...."felt what?"....you just had a contraction, see? Up there on the screen?? That's showing the heartbeat....and that, yep, you just had another one. "Oh"....I thought they were just sweet little kicks and hiccoughs.

I remember having to lie on my left side because "she doesn't like when you lie on your right"...and smiling that they talked about you as if you were already here....and had a personality...with likes and dislikes. I loved that you didn't like my right side.

My daddy, your Pawpaw, was my very first visitor. This made Mommy's day! To have the two most important men in my life, in my room, right before I met you....it gave me peace.

The story is long---beautiful, but long--and I will spare you every detail...in fact, the only way I can do this is gonna be stream-of-consciousness...so hang on, sistah....

I remember the look on your Daddy's face...thinking "he's gonna be sick" and my fear of him missing your birth because of his decision to have an espresso and a breakfast burrito at 6 am that morning.

I remember thinking he wouldn't be as excited because it wasn't his first baby and being completely dissipated when I saw big, teary eyes and little-boy anticipation. This was, after all...his first girl....his little princess.

I remember walking into the room and seeing the warming bed and being hit hard with the realization that this was the bed my baby--inside my body--would be lying in. And there was a folded receiving blanket and a little stretchy cotton hat lying there...it was pink and white with a little bow....and I remember saying out loud, "Holy crap. That very hat is going to be on my baby's head." It was just so...real. And happening.

I remember, in the middle of getting the epidural, my nurse bringing me a little hospital bracelet she found that said, "Richard's Baby" and crying when I saw it...and staring at the handwritten name--my baby's name--while I eased into numbness.

I remember looking at the clock and thinking "it's 7:15 and they are wheeling me to the O.R. at 7:30 and I haven't had my epidural yet and oh.my.gosh. am I going to feel everything????" And then my nurse Michelle pushing in my i.v. and the anesthesiologist pushing the needle in with my feet still down and I asked, "will I feel this right away" and her answering, "yes" and then I said, "but I don't...." and then I smiled and melted while they hoisted my legs onto the table.

I remember feeling so incredibly hot and telling the nurse that I was going to be sick and she said "count to 5" and I did....."one two three four".....ahhhhh, much better....as a blast of liquid ice ran through my veins to cool me off.

I remember feeling very, very in love with your Daddy and feeling very blessed to have someone so loving. I remember loving the laid-back atmosphere and Dr Innes casually talking to me and the nurses about her weekend with her boys and laughing and dozing while I listened to laughing and being surprised at how comfortable and normal this all was...and being very, very aware that through all of this laughter and talking and pulling and pressure..there was this little background music of a little heartbeat. Your heartbeat.

I remember thinking how crazy it was that you would be born right around 8 am....I labored with your brother for 22 hours.

I remember wanting to hold you so bad. Just wanting to hold you. And smell you. And nurse you. And love on you.

And then, there you were. I heard the most amazing little cry, your little horse voice saying, "I'm here! I'm here!" "Mommmmmmmmma, I'm here!"

It was beautiful. And perfect.

They asked Daddy to come around to see you and hold you while they were sewing me up. The anticipation was killing me.

I could hear him talking to you, loving you....I knew right then that you had him. Wrapped around your sweet little fingers.

And then he brought you over to me and you were pink and perfect and crying, and Daddy handed you right to me. 7 pounds, 10 ounces of pure joy. heaven. placed in my arms...and your eyes were open and you were crying and I pulled your pink body to my face and kissed it over and over...letting my tears wash your face.

I remember saying, "Happy birthday, happy birthday, I love you angel" over and over. And sobbing. Just sobbing with joy. And I remember your daddy's face so close to mine I could feel the heat from it.

And I forgot everyone else in the room existed...and it was the three of us. Crying and smiling and laughing and kissing.

They rolled me into the recovery room with you and Daddy and there in that room, I nursed you for the first time....and it was so beautiful and perfect....you latched on like you knew exactly what you were doing.

We were in there for an hour.

I remember just staring at you and thinking I was staring at Grayson but in girl form. You had these beautiful, big, pink lips that pouted out like they were plumped with restylane. Oh they were friggin' beautiful. And these cheeks that were so squishy. Your breath smelled like medicine. I remember thinking I must be dreaming because certainly, the happiness I felt was not humanly possible.

We drank you in...for what seemed like forever, but it wasn't even an hour before all of our friends and family...seventeen to be exact, piled in the hospital room with us to welcome you.

And talk about love overflowin'.......when your Nana brought your Bubba in to see you for the very first time.......

Oh God, Rylee.....that, for me, was indescribable. It exploded my heart!

And I watched my mom hold you...my baby girl and my mom, and I just couldn't believe this was my baby girl in her arms. Everyone told me before that I wouldn't want to give you up to anyone...but I was completely fine...overjoyed, in fact, watching these people I love hold you and love you, too. Someone snuck a bottle of champagne in....was it you, Lindsay?? And we poured it in dixie cups. And I remember, just an hour after you were born, my legs still numb, everyone holding their dixie cups up (oh...tears)...and hearing the chorus of voices say, "To Rylee Ann"...as they tapped their little paper cups and I held this swaddling thing..our thing...in my arms.

It. Was. Beautiful.

I remember it was 9:45 at night when the last friend left and it was just me and your Daddy and you. And being handed my swaddling baby to hold in...and just thinking that I had never, ever been more proud. I remember the quiet of the room with the three of us...and we whispered and snuggled in bed together. And about 1:00, I told Daddy to go home and get some sleep...because I knew he loved his bed and because I knew we would be fine, just us girls. And when he left, I remember thinking my heart would burst. Just sitting there, holding you, looking at you.....knowing I got to be alone with you for the next several hours.

And we got to know one another that day.....that hour. You and me, best friends...for life.

I don't know what else to say. It's just untouchable ground. Pure, raw emotion.

...and it's a choppy ending...but it hasn't ended. It keeps going. For the last 11 months, I've felt that feeling. Maybe not as new or raw, but there are days where it just hits me like...holy crap. You were in my body. Squished up in my body swipin' your knee across my stomach, and you're out. You're right here, and you're mine. And I love you so very much.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Angel. Happy 1st Birthday!

~Love, Momma

2 + 2 = FOUR

2011-08-09T22:44:00.001-05:00

Dear Grayson,

It was just four years ago. The most joyous moment of my life, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

I wonder sometimes what heaven is like. And I think that perhaps, if it is really as wonderful as we hope it is that someday, when I leave this earth, I will enter that moment of your birth again. Because it is the sweetest heaven I could ever taste and I could relive every moment of it infinitely.....

the way you smelled, the sound of your cry, the way your skin felt against mine and the way my heart at that moment was set to beat with yours. I yearned for you my entire life and in that moment--that precious moment--the planets aligned and the world was very, very good indeed.

Grayson, there is no way I can ever tell you how much I love you. How much my heart aches and stretches and smiles with watching you grow. But I will show you. I will show you every beautiful day of your life that I indeed was made to love you.

Four.

Four years of nights with your warm little body pressed into my back as you breathe deeply and dream.

Four.

Four years of laughter--your reddish-brown head tipped back and your sunny spirit released with that smile.

Each year, each day, each moment, you amaze me, drawing me in, teaching me more.

And Baby, I'll never forget this year. This year when I needed you so badly. This year when your presence comforted and guided me through difficult days. This year when you taught me how to love.

You don't know what you've done for me yet but someday, I will tell you about the day I watched you become a big brother and how you accepted her, loved her, embraced her.

I will never ever forget this fourth year of your life. How through most of it, you held my hand. You brought me tissue and towels in the bathroom when I had morning sickness. How you rubbed my growing belly with your cow. How you felt her kick and counted down the days with me for her arrival. "Is she gonna fall out yet, Mom?"It was such a special year, Grayson, because you are a special boy.

You are my compassionate one, my spirited one, my independent one who likes to find his own way. You are witty and silly, caring and kind. You are my emotional little roller coaster and every dream I ever had my entire life about the little boy I wanted someday just can't compare with the greatness you turned out to be.

Watching you grow is an art. An art I am master of and I will forever study the wonder that is you.

God gave me two beautiful, amazing babies, my first born...why, I know you were hand picked for us, for Rylee, for your grandparents, for the world. For you are going to do great things, Little Man.

Thank you for loving so good, so big, so pure.

I didn't think I could ever love so deep.
You are Heaven, you Big Four Year Old.

We love you so.
Happy Birthday, Bubba.

~Mom

We've Been Gettin' Ready!!!!

2011-08-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

Busy.

Ooh! I can hardly wait!

11 Months...."This is It"!

2011-07-20T00:39:00.005-05:00

Rylee~

In one short little moment.....or a month at most, you will turn one.

My beautiful Rylee Bug, my love, my life, my last. This, for me, is the hardest. I keep trying to ignore it. This huge beast at my door, laughing at me. "She's your last baby!!! No more for you!" "BWAA HA HA HA!"

I think that I have held my composure enough that I can now let these pitiful, bruised and bullied walls down.

Lay 'em down, Momma.

You see, my love, not only am I closing a door.....it's the last door. You are my muse. My masterpiece...and it is now time for me to lay down my brush for the very last time.

I knew that this was coming. I knew that I needed to prepare myself for all the "never agains".....and tha "this is the last time that I will...."

Oh Rylee...I'm going to be sick! I want to throw my head in my hands and just....cry!

I told myself, from the very beginning......when I first saw that beautiful digital "PREGNANT" sign just twenty months ago......"Enjoy it all!" "The sickness and the beauty"......"the happiness and the hurt." "This is it!!"

And I can honestly tell you, I did. I did enjoy it all.

The first 12 weeks of sickness.

The first breath that you took.

The first time that your Daddy held you.

The first time that I saw that special bond between you and your brother.

The first time you said, "Momma".......

And all the moments in between.

I have taken every.single.moment. of your amazing life and I have locked it deep inside my memory so that when your Daddy and I are giving you away at your wedding or holding your very-much-prayed-for-healthy-first-born-baby in the hospital.....all these beautiful, unforgettable memories will come rushing back.

In 11 perfectly-beautiful months you have learned to say the most precious words on Earth: "Momma, Dadda, and Bubba". I won't deny that "Momma" was first. Oh what a perfect, glorious day was that? You always have and hopefully always will be a Mommas girl.

My "girly-girl"!

You keep us smiling, sweet girl.

Lately, you hear the word, "pretty", and immediately hold whatever is in your hand up to your ear....like you are showing off your new found "pretty". I think you do this because since the day we brought you home, I have put a bow on your head and I always follow by saying, "Ooooooh Ryyyyylee, you're soooooo pretty"! So you must be imitating what you have always seen and heard from your Momma.

You find silly, little objects around the house and demand that they are your new "beautiful pretties"....I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

It could be a flashlight, a matchbox car, or even a piece of cantaloupe, but when held up to your ear......it's "soooooo pretty".

My beautiful princess! You sing in the car like no one is listening.

Our Father in Heaven is listening, Ry....and all the angels to your sweet little voice.

You take care of your Bubba's toys like they are your little lost-and-found-treasures. And when I open your closet door each day to look at your magnificent wardrobe.....you inhale, like the diva that you are and then get all giddy at the beauties that await you.

Oh, I think I could spend the rest of my life dressing you and loving you.

I told myself that I wasn't going to get emotional, Rylee. I enjoyed every day. I lived in every moment.

I lied.

Mommy is a BIG.FAT.LIAR.....with a cherry on top.

I did enjoy every moment. I did enjoy every night awake. I enjoyed every.single.second. of your infancy and now, now I want it back. All of it from the sour milk-medicine breath to the popcorn smelling diapers to the always-having-one-eye-open-because-what-if-she-stops-breathing.

Who wouldn't?

Who in their right mind wouldn't want to re-live perfection?

The little kitten-meow cries and the tightly swaddled "hmm-ummfs"...God! I want it back! I want to show you how AWESOME our God is Rylee.....

...how beautiful His love is for you. He gave me two perfectly healthy, beautiful babies to take care of and to raise under His watch. He entrusted me to make sure that everything you do is according to His will. I made Him a promise a few years ago and I will do everything in my power, as your Mother, to keep that promise....that you will never doubt His love, that you will never run or hide from Him.

Our little 11 month old.

SOOOO Big!

You are such an amazing sleeper, my love. You are nursing twice a day...once in the early morning and once at night. Taking a bottle now like nobodies business!! You are still anemic, so taking iron drops once a day and eating big girl food and drinking water out of a straw like such a big girl!

You eat 3 mini pancakes for breakfast, chicken and veggies for lunch, and anything Mommy fixes for dinner....such a fantastic eater!!

At 11 months:

You are wearing size 4 diapers and size 12 month clothes.

You have 8 teeth and and the sweetest personality EVER! Your hair is the most perfect shade of red and your eyes are as blue as the ocean. You love to smile and giggle and pretend cough.

You like to use a spoon or fork while eating....and by that I mean you like to use it yourself. You pick up a morsel of food with your fingers and then stab it on to the fork before placing it into your mouth with the "I'm the biggest girl ever" smile on your face.

I caught you "pretend eating" the other day with your play kitchen. You were stirring a golf ball in a bowl with some tongs and then "pretend biting" the tongs. How smart are you???!

You are walking with your push buggy so well and are trying ever so hard to keep up with Bubba as he comes whizzing past you. I have seen you let go while standing a couple of times like you are contemplating taking a step....and just when I think that you are about to, you very slowly squat down until your tushy is safe on the floor.

You have an amazing little spirit, Rylee. Always wanting to be around others...usually on their hip. Every once in a while you will sit and play quietly with your toys all.by.yourself. but always with one eye on Mommy and my whereabouts.

Mommy and Daddy and Bubba love you so much! You bring us so much joy each and every day, sweet Lovie!

Our 4th As Four

2011-07-07T01:19:00.001-05:00

Here lately, we have ordained July 4th as our Official Richard's Family Reunion.

For the last 5 years, we have spent July 4th at Lake Possum Kingdom.

Being a Texas native, I am proud of many things....

...our beautiful, sparkling lakes being one of them.

I am a girly girl. Everyone who knows me, knows that. I wear waterproof mascara and lip gloss during the summer. I despise June Bugs and Geckos. And I feel it utmost necessary to shower before going swimming.

Don't know why. I just do.

So, going to "the lake" for a weekend is a pretty big deal. I can't just throw a swimsuit into a bag with a bottle of sunscreen and call it a day, oh no!

Especially when I am told that I will NOT be staying in our Aunt's amazing Pottery Barn Style Lake house, but instead be staying in.a.cabin.

GASP.

I need my own large duffel bag with my necessities......you know, like my hair dryer, flat iron, makeup bag, clothes for the weekend including evening wear, and my own pillow. Not to mention my sweet baby girl's outfits, snacks, pack n play, blankets, sassies, and floaties, etc.

Let's just say that our SUV was loaded to the max!!

When we arrived Saturday morning, we were in our element. Skipping rocks with Pappi and Cousin Caleb.....what more could a little boy ask for?

The sky was blue, the weather was perfect.

We had coolers of beer and juice boxes and appetizers in the oven.

We played 42, Texas Hold 'Em, and Spades indoors......

and rode on Jet Ski's and Tubes outdoors.

After too much sun, we settled down by making crafts and reading stories with Mimi...

And at night, after dinner, we watched movies and dined on S'mores.

The first night we slept soundly in our cabin.

The second.....not so much.

After watching fireworks light up the sky, we headed back to our sleeping quarters to find a H.U.G.E.

stinging scorpion just chilling over our bed and a mound of fire ants under the carpet where Gray had slept the night before in his sleeping bag.

Can't you just picture how fast I gathered our belongings and bolted outta there??????

We ended up heading back to Aunt Joy's to make a big 'ol family pallet on the floor in her living room and slept soundly for the night....after counting stars through the wall of windows separating us from the lake.

I do not heart cabins.

The next morning, we woke to bacon grilling and eggs frying and re-telling of our nights adventures.

"Not much of a country girl, are ya?".....Uncle Russ asked.

He's lucky, he's cute.

We spent the day grilling, drinking, laughing, and sunning.

And that night, we watched the most magnificent sunset.....all the while, hanging out as a family, sucking the marrow out of life.

It.was.fantastic.

We ate watermelon for breakfast and skinny dipped in the pool.

We put our party hats on and waved our flags proudly.

We sat sail on an AMAZING house boat to cruise the lake and take in the beautiful scenery.

We laughed, danced, sang, showed our tan lines, and ate cake.

We dug through bags that didn't belong to us, slid down slides that should not have held us, and drank in God's beautiful sunset.

We prayed for those who had lost EVERYTHING in the fires and prayed even harder when we saw two more fires start.

We laughed hard, we loved big, and we enjoyed every single second of the beauty that He gave us.

And we sang "Happy Birthday to America", because She was the whole reason that we were here in the first place.

A First....

2011-07-01T01:18:00.000-05:00

Our first family vacation...

...I could just picture it:

Pristine, white sand beaches, shades of teal waters and baby blue skies, frosty, umbrella-ed pina coladas and waiters named Sean Paul at my beckon call.....everything I dreamed of.

No wait.

Uhhhhh. Hmmmm. I forgot to add in a 14 hour drive with a 3 year old

and a 10 month old

and a 33 year old. Oh, and no childcare and a husband that would rather lay out at the resort pool and refuse to go to the beach, leaving me with two kids, a 50 ton wagon, a Cannon camera to take fabulous vacation shots, 1 bottle of water and sandy snacks......not to mention one child who wants to eat sand and the other who demands that I help him dig a 3 ft deep hole.

Ahhhhhh. Paradise.

Panama Beach, Florida.

It was beautiful. And much needed.

Going to the beach is not in any way an easy task with an almost four year old and a baby. In fact, just visualizing our entrance is a bit embarrassing--dragging towels and bags and sand toys, loaded up in a wagon that might as well be a 50 ton elephant; dropping random shovels and pails; steering a wandering child; hoisting camera cases and diaper bags, dodging "Mam, could you use some help?" offers with forced smiles and fake "No, we got this" responses. It's a lot of work. But then there's this.

And this.....

...which is undeniably worth it.

And it was. Worth it.

We got our hands......and snacks sandy.

We got our toes wet. And we made memories. And we laughed.

We only stayed a total of 30 minutes that first day, but we did it. We made a first. A first memory of Mommy, Bubba, and Sissy at the beach.

This photo of Shores of Panama by Oaseas Resorts is courtesy of TripAdvisor

The resort had EVERYTHING that we could ever want or need and made the thought of traipsing to the beach a hindrance. We decorated water bottles, tye-dyed Onesies, and painted "dead fish shirts".

We hunted for crabs. Every.Single.Night. We sang karaoke and drank expensive frozen drinks.

We played "Hot Potato" and "Got Yo Feet" until the sun went down and fell asleep with the smell of sunscreen in our hair.

And in the morning we woke to Taylor Swift blaring on the speakers.

Some days we slept til 10.......and some days we never even saw the water.

We played Putt Putt and Skee Ball, drove Bumper Boats

and raced cars, and dined on Dippin' Dots.

While Daddy went on a birthday-deep-sea-fishing-excursion

We had fun in the sun!

We shopped til we dropped, feasted on Parmesan Crusted Grouper and Tilapia Nachos,

and jumped in a 95 degree bounce house.

Took pictures of God's majestic backdrop and sat in seats too big for our britches!

We stopped for ice cream.......several times.

Some nights we stayed up late just so we could go " night-swimming".....

And the next day we slept til 10 and wandered out to the beach with our pasty white bodies and our SPF 90 to do it all over again.

The last day we stopped for one last glimpse of Paradise.

I grabbed my camera and my son and we ran down the sandy boardwalk so fast and jumped into the squeaky sand for one.last.money shot.

We bottled up sand and shells and all of our beautiful memories that day.

And now that bottle sits on a shelf to remind us of our perfect first family vacation.

10 Months

2011-06-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

From Mother to Daughter: Shared Wisdom from the Heart: "Start now to be the kind of mother you always wanted to be. Don't wait until she's eighteen...Keep in mind that all she wants to be doing--for the greatest part of her young life--is what you're doing."

I love you, my little Happiness. From your giggles and snorts to your chunky monkey thighs, from your sweet smell to your pouty-lip cries...I love every bit of you.

You only nursed three times today. You will turn 1 in less than two months and I feel like I'm saying goodbye to all of your babyhood....one day at a time. It's like I'm trying to hold water in my hands...it just trickles through my fingers no matter how hard I try to keep it contained.

Rylee Love, you are trickling...

There will come a day when the grasp of your tiny fingers around mine won't take my breath away; when I won't stare at your pouty lips while you sleep. There will come a day when the way your toes curl when I tickle them won't send me into a fit of laughter or when the way you look at me won't make me cry. That day is not today, my Love.

We leave for our 14 hour drive to Panama Beach in two days. I have laundry to wash, bags to pack, presents to wrap, places to clean, lists to make...but I keep getting sidetracked. There's this little face smiling at me. Play with me. Read to me. Hold me.

You're good--really good. So, it's not that I can't get things done because you need me. It's me. There's this constant reminder in the back of my mind that tomorrow you'll be bigger. So, today I soak you up. I snuggle your sweet cheeks, drink in your sugary baby breath, and kiss the soft red fuzz on your head that will all too soon grow into real hair.

This past month has flown by, little one!!

You are eating anything and everything in sight! Scrambled eggs? Yes please!! Pork tenderloin? Bring it!

We had a follow up visit with Dr T. to check your iron levels again and sadly, my dear, you are anemic. We had to switch you from Polyvisol with Iron to a full on dose of straight iron every day. She also gave me the go ahead to pump you full of iron-rich foods. So, that we have!

You LOVE: salmon, tuna, red fish, tilapia, all red meat including meatloaf, all beans, chick peas, and spinach. You turn your nose up to baby food but will eat rice cereal and squeezable baby food out of a pouch. You have decided that french fries are fantastic and cannot get enough water.

We tried whole milk and you will tolerate it only by drinking it through a straw....such a Priss! If and when you do drink formula....it has to be ice cold and the ready made.....no powder for you! You usually have a whole grain blueberry waffle and egg for breakfast and a turkey and cheese sandwich on whole grain bread for lunch. If I could liquefy watermelon and shoot it through your veins, you would be pleased.

This past month you have grown 4 new top teeth which brings you to 6 total. I remember pumping your brother full of ibuprofen and teething tablets at this age....but I honestly had NO idea they were even there until one day you were laying on the floor giggling and I saw a lot of white! I opened up your mouth and "Holy Moly" I was shocked!

You are wearing 12 month clothes, size 4 diapers, and still no shoes! I try to put them on and you just kick, kick, kick until they fall off. Between us, Mommy didn't like shoes either until around two.....and then your Nana found me in the closet one day licking the bottoms of them....seriously, that's just between us.

You are cruising around the house like nobodies business and can crawl faster than fast. You can say, "Bubba" and "bye bye".....most would question the difference between the two. You know the difference. You wave when saying "bye bye" and point when talking to your brother. So smart, Lil Lady!

You've got a big head about your growing independence and your new moves! You will pull up on a

bar stool, scale the wall, and quickly grab hold of another....all the while with a "Ta Dahhhh" look on your face. We are so extremely proud of your skills Mama.

Most days you are content just playing with toys, sitting on the living room floor, with Yo Gabba Gabba in the background......with one eye ALWAYS on Mommy's whereabouts, I might add. Such a huge transition from last month and all those before when it was a mad dash for me to get ANYTHING done without you squawking, "MommaIdon'tseeyou!!!!Whereareyou?????AHHHHHHHHHHHH". Huge.

The summer is half way over, June Bug...and then, then we will have "our time". Just like the old days, when you were in Mommy's belly. Just you and me. Three days a week. 9:30-2:30.

Girl time.

I love you Punky. I love the little sprite that you are becoming....with the reddish blond hair. My Heaven.

Happy 10 Months!

~Love Mommy

Moments Worth Keeping

2011-06-20T18:40:00.002-05:00

(I stole this phrase from my cousin) She's an amazing mother and I thought it to be perfect for those "memory shots".....you know, the ones that will be locked into my heart forever and will flash before my eyes when I see you off to your very first day of kindergarten or walking down the aisle to your ever after?

My Little June Bugs

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T21:00:00.003-05:00

To be your child is to be lucky......

....so very lucky!!!

photo by Bella Mia

NINE

2011-05-17T23:21:00.001-05:00

"Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes"
~Mercy Me

Rylee~

You have now been out of Mommy's womb.....your safe little haven, for nine months. This world has now shared the same amount of time loving you as I did in the beginning. My little sprite, with red hair and the brightest blue eyes, you are so incredibly beautiful!

You fill our lives, each and every second, with joy and excitement and......noise.

A beautiful noise!!

Your shrieks, your laughter, your squeals, your cries.....each one so precious and so undeniably you.

Though you haven't quite said "words" per say......you have your own little language that is perfect in every way. And all those who love you, know exactly what it is that you are talking about.

These nine months have past by so quickly, Rylee. Mommy is starting to plan yours and Bubba's birthday party and it just seems so surreal. I remember like it was yesterday, rubbing my belly and thinking to myself, "I wonder what she will look like? Will she have my eyes or nose or will she be the spitting image of her Daddy?"

So fast.

Nine. Beautiful. Months.

Some of your favorite things right now are:

~Crawling everywhere and pulling up and cruising a few steps.
~You love looking out the windows, especially if Harlow is outside.
~Giggling.....Daddy says "squawking".

~Your brother....he facinates you!

~Any food that you can pick up with your fingers and feed yourself:

~Watermelon....can't get enough!

~black beans, cucumbers, turkey..."More Please", cheese, meatloaf, carrots, apples, spaghetti, you name it! You're such a great eater.

You also love:

~Bath time.
~Grass.

~Harlow's chew bones...yuck.
~Mommy's makeup brushes....you like to lick them.

~Drinking out of straws......you turn your nose up to sippy cups!

At your 9 month check up, you weighed in at 18 1/2 precious lbs!!!

You are nursing about 3-4 times a day and still in size 3 diapers and 12 month clothes.

For some reason, this past month, you look so petite to me.....maybe because you are moving so fast, those chubby chub legs are starting to thin out a bit????

We have been going on walks to the park in the wagon these past few weeks since the weather has been so nice.....you look like such a big girl!

You, like your brother, love to be outside.

You are a little fish in the water, kicking your legs soooo so fast....maybe that's where your chubby chub thighs thinned out???

My little angel love. My day begins with you squawking and ends with you nestled in my arms, loving on me.

I dreamed of this for forever.

Happy 9 Months, Lovie-girl.
I love you SO Big!

~Mommy

Easter

2011-05-14T00:48:00.000-05:00

John 10:17-18 ESV
For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.

We had our Annual Richard's Easter Hunt a little early this year since Aunt Emily was in town.

It was a beautiful weekend, the weather was perfect, and Lil' Miss was So excited!!

Her very first Easter!!

Big brother had to show her the ropes. He found 7 eggs filled with candy and 7 eggs filled with money...not too shabby!

Mimi and Pappi spoiled the kids with their very own Easter baskets filled with treats and toys and clothes.

We had a very authentic Easter lunch.....pizza! They are in the middle of remodeling their kitchen so of course pizza was just fine with everyone!

It was such a treat having Aunt Emily there to celebrate with us and we are looking forward to July when we will have her here permanently.

************************************************************************************

Our next Easter celebration was at Nana and Pawpaw's house on Easter Sunday.

We had an amazing lakeside church service and then headed back to their house for a delicious traditional Easter lunch with all the fixin's and another Easter egg hunt.

We had a fabulous time with good friends, family, and another beautiful day outdoors.

The kids were spoiled, yet again, with their very own Easter baskets

from Nana and Pawpaw filled with super cute pj's and goodies!

We spent the majority of the day just sitting outside, swinging on the swing, while the older kids played in Nana's fountain.

************************************************************************************

So, between two Easter's plus soccer practice plus a MOPS Easter egg hunt at the park, I guess I could say that our April was pretty busy!!

We are looking forward to summer and getting our feet wet in the splash parks and pools and to lazy days when there isn't a care in the world........except for what flavor ice cream to choose.

8 Beautiful Months...

2011-05-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

and it's gone by so incredibly fast, my love! Next week you will be turning 9 months....NINE! How is this possible?? You have now been in this world as long as you were inside of me.

How surreal.

In your busy little eight months you have accomplished SO much! You now have two little pearly whites and a smile bigger than Dallas!

I love your smile....it's so contagious. The way you squinch up your little nose and breathe in and out so fast that you sound like a little snorting piglet, all the while smiling from ear to ear. Our "Smiley Rylee"...that's what we call you.

Oh Punky, you are just a joy to be around and can make every day brighter just by being you!

Your chunky, little butt is wearing size 12 month clothes and are still in size 3 diapers. You are nursing 5-6 times a day and still taking 3 naps. I put you down around 7:30-8:00 and you stick your sweet, little hands underneathe your tummy and poke your butt up in the air and fall fast asleep. All you need is your waterfall turned on, your glo worm, and your sassies. I scatter about half a dozen in your crib so that if you wake you can always find one. You must have some sort of game going on in the middle of the night to see just how far that you can chunk those suckers because when I come in the next morning, there are sassies sprinkled all over the floor like fairy dust.

I took your bumper pads off your crib this month because you started untying the ribbons and chewing on them. Busted.

You started off on all fours at the beginning of the month, rocking back and forth, back and forth. That lasted for about a minute. The next couple of days you started army crawling, dragging one dead leg behind you...too funny! And now, now you're off. You're so fast!! I can put you down in your room to play with your toys and a second later I hear the pitter patter of chubby knees and hands on the hard wood floor coming down the hallway. You stop to dabble with the door stop and then "pitter patter", there you go again looking for Momma.

My sweet lil' Momma's girl!!

Everyone says what a Momma's Girl you are and they're right....and that's ok by me because in 12-15 years, you're not gonna wanna have anything to do with me, so I'll take all that I can get of this precious loving right now.

Rylee, you love your big brother SO much!! You are so intrested in everything that he's saying and watching every move he makes....and one day soon, you'll be swiping toys from him left and right.

He has no idea what's in store! He loves you so much, always encouraging you

to crawl and clapping when you try so hard to pull yourself up. And when you're stuck and can't sit back down on your own....he's right there gently pulling you back down into his lap. Such the protector of his little Sissy! He thanks God every night for you....every.single.night. We all do, angel.

You have made this family complete. Your infectious laugh, your beautiful spirit, your sassy attitude...we love every bit of you!

~Love Mama

Flashback Friday

2011-05-13T13:56:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I Forget....

2011-04-20T23:48:00.000-05:00

...to pray for things.

I think I have all my ducks in a row....lined up on a cute little shelf in my mind and then when something happens unexpectedly,like a duck falling off my shelf, I think to myself...."hmmmm, I forgot to pray for that" and then I pick that duck off the dusty floor and wipe it off and replace it right back where it belongs. There you go little duck.

Random I know. Ducks....thoughts.

But not really.

Unless it's smacking me in the face, like when one of my children is sick, I sometimes forget to pray for things. Like, I pray, but usually it's for someone that is hurting, or for health, or as things come up, or a wide covering prayer, not too specific. I am still trying to understand the way He provides because there are so many blessings that come into our life.

And some other things that are really frivolous but definitely not un-noticed by me. I wonder, if these prayers said quietly in my heart but not out loud are still answered, what could happen if I am actually on my knees?

Not that it works that way, like a God-vending machine. Prayers go in and and I get what I want. Not at all.

But I know He hears me anyway.

How often I feel like maybe I have everything I really need, so anything extra would be... asking for too much? Who am I to ask for anything? My God, I lie next to my child and think, I didn't ask for my child to breathe today yet she has breath. Thank you. Thank you God. I know it's because of you! I'm so thankful.

What more could I ask for?

And then I close my eyes and really think about it and outside of my head I see that maybe I need to stop thinking it's up to me. What if what's happening to us is in response to someone else's prayer?

Someone else on their knees, on my behalf?

I'm so humbled.

It's so big......this life.

And we are so very small.

Life turns and I spin

and I roll with it

and I want to land where He wants me to be.

Which is probably on my knees.

Im a professional at pretend.

2011-04-18T23:34:00.000-05:00

For some reason I had this weird rule in my head that I need a photo with every post. When did that happen? And like if I don't, I won't have inspiration any other way.

Or maybe I just use it as distraction.

So that's probably why I sat down here with nothing to say at all....why I've gone for almost an entire month without blogging. Plenty I wish I could say, but I can't. That and the fact that my computer caught yet another virus so I didn't have the means to blog for a few weeks anyhow.

I'm tired of the small talk.

Why am I so hard on myself for not posting Rylee's 8 month post on the right day?? I haven't even written it yet. I'm also tired of telling Gray to stop calling Ry names that start with poop and I want Harlow to stop waking up every.single.morning. at 5:50 because she's hungry, and I want Kevin to just once, not hit the snooze button 547 times. I want to cease the examining of everything they do, thinking it's because of something I've done to make them this way, or that. Or what I'm turning them into.

We have so many good days. SO many. Maybe that's why the bads come as more of a shock. I don't know. Because it can deceive my mind into erasing when I do get it right and only focusing on what I get wrong. And I am an optimist, so I don't let on, I don't speak it out, and I certainly don't write it out, and instead hoard it within.

And maybe it's what we do, we all walk around with small talk on our sleeves and our hearts coffin-ed somewhere deep; we distract and are distracted and we make fun of anyone that makes us uncomfortable.

Because we think that's how it's supposed to be.

I'll be back to normal in a few.

Toes

2011-03-31T23:33:00.000-05:00

His.

Hers.

Baby Piggies make me crazy. I'm always amazed that those are the same little footsies that kicked me while they were in my tummy! Seriously though, are they not scrumptiously delish?

And don't even get me started on scraped-up-dirty-little- boy-toes.........I'm obsessed.

I take pictures of them all the time as if those ten little toes change every day.

I love you, my Littles.....my Sunshines.....My Rylee-Pop and Punkin Butt.From your top side to your bottom, from your smiles to your pouty-lip cries...I love every bit of you.

A New Addition

2011-03-20T00:50:00.002-05:00

It's been exactly 10 months. Ten months since we said our "Goodbyes"....ten months for our hearts to mend. And although they haven't truly healed...there will always be missing parts that she took with her, but they are mending. The hole isn't quite so large.....anymore.

I told Kevin that I was ready. I had prepped myself and sucker-punched my cheeks and yes, I was ready. I was ready to let another in. To invite another outsider in to my intimate family circle. I wasn't ready to replace her.....it still brings tears to my eyes to whisper her name....but I was ready to try to love again.

Let me make it clear that I have never, in my 32 years, ever had to put a pet to sleep. Bentley wasn't just a pet. She was our baby. Kevin and I picked her out, together, nine years ago.....she was "our" baby. She was family. And to replace her, well...that wasn't possible.

But, I was willing and ready to try to mend.

And her name is Harlow. Harlow Jean. And she's perfect. And as much as I wanted and needed her to be and look just like Bentley....she's not. She's her.

You would think that a 3 year old would forget. But he didn't. He asked about her almost every day......for 10 months. We told him that she was sick, that we couldn't fix her, that she went to Heaven.....we tried to keep it blunt. Simple. Jesus is taking care of her now.

No one wants to explain death to a 3 year old.

How is it even possible?

Will he think every time one of us gets "sick" we will leave him??? How does a 3 year old decipher the different types of sickness?

It broke our hearts to hear, "I willy miss hur...why can't Jesus fix hur, Mom?"

It broke me in a million ways to not be able to fix his sadness....to make it better.

I had to heal. We all had to heal. And now, we're starting over. From scratch....a puppy.

A FREAKING puppy!!!

I told Kev I was ready and he surprised me....for our 6th anniversary, he gave me Harlow.

I had all intentions of naming her "Bentley". I truly thought that if she looked just like her, it would make it easier. We asked Gray and he said he wanted to call her Bentley. But when Kev brought her home......she just wasn't.

Yes, she looked just.like.her.

But she definitely wasn't her. She was herself.

Her sweet, sassy, independent, feisty self.

And spending just a few short moments with her, I knew she needed her own name....she wanted to make sure that we knew she was different.

We named her Harlow after the original blond bombshell "Jean Harlow"....I love old, classic movies and secretly wanted to name Rylee "Harlow", but Kevin vetoed it as soon as it came out of my mouth. Jean Harlow's birthday is March 3, which coincidentally, is the same day that Kev brought our "little blond bombshell" home....her death was in June...which coincidentally was the same month that we lost Bentley.

We love this new little priss with all of our hearts!

And she's an absolute mess. A prissy, little mess.

Happy 7 Months, Lovie~Bug!!!

2011-03-17T23:11:00.002-05:00

"You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make me happy when skies are grey You'll never know dear how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away".

Rylee Ann~

You make every day brighter. More perfect than the day before. I can go to bed exhausted, beaten, and wilted and when I see your smiley face in the morning....I'm rejuvenated.

Smiley Rylee.

You're like the $35 eye cream that I can't bring myself to buy.

A soul replenisher of sorts.

You are my joy.

At 7 months, you are quite the entertainer, Rylee-bug.

From the moment you wake in the morning til the last sigh before collapsing in my arms at night.....you are a joy to be around. Always smiling, always cooing...you are pure.fantastic.joy.

This past month, you have blossomed into such a big, little girl! You can sit for hours on end...in the bath....on the floor....in a chair.....you're just sittin' pretty, Love!

You can eat big girl foods, too! You love avocados, bananas, and pears.....cheerios, puffs, and yum yums (rice crackers). You can hold a sippy cup like no-bodies-business and have even been known to hold your own bottle!

Mommy took an overnight trip to Houston again, and you....you rocked it out! You stayed your very first night with Nana and Pawpaw for Mommy and Daddy's 6th anniversary and then you stayed your very first night with Mimi and Pappi for Mommy's 32nd bday. B.I.G.G.I.R.L.

Mommy was SO proud to hear that you slept through the night on both occasions!!

For the last 3 weeks, you have been sleeping through the night! We put you to bed around 8 and don't hear a peep from you until 8 the next morning!! You are still taking 3 naps a day.....the first about an hour after you wake up, the second around lunch time, and the third around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.

You are nursing about 5-6 times a day. I usually give you a 1/2 jar of baby food in the afternoon and you eat rice cereal and the 2nd half of the jar at the dinner table with us in the evening.

You cut your first tooth this month!!! 3/18/11....I noticed it finally popped through while we were out for dinner.....so I gave you avocado to celebrate and you LOVED it!

You are still wearing 6-9 months, sz 3 diapers, and sz 1 shoe.

Can I just tell you how freakin fabulous it is having a girl?!! I love dressing you...I love planning what you will wear tomorrow...what flower I will put in your hair. Will you be preppy or romantic....rocker or chic???? It makes my heart so happy!

Ry....you give kisses and loves like no other! I press my nose to your mouth and inhale your sweet-sour-milk-medicine-smell-breath.....and it is Heaven.

I love how you get me. You know what I need, when I need it. Sometimes, just the sweet touch of your little hand on my face.....oh, it gets me! You, in your own little way, tell me to "Relax Momma, this is it.....enjoy, breathe....bask in the glow....this is what you have always wanted......it's yours now."

I love you Rylee-pop, Button-blue, Lovie-girl......you are my "Ever After"....

~Momma

6 years ago...

2011-02-26T08:00:00.003-06:00

Oh, Happy Day!

It was a magical moment...

...and I will never forget it.

The way he looked at me at the end of the aisle...waiting.

The way we held hands so tightly coming back...

The way he held me while we danced our very first dance as husband and wife.

It was the most perfect day ever, and I will never ever forget it.

I will never forget the way my entire family was together. Aunts and uncles and cousins who I love. Friends who are family and family who are friends. I will never forget the magic and the tears.

On that day, the clouds parted and the glory of heaven escaped. And it landed on the dance floor where we hugged and held hands and clapped as kids break danced and adults shimmied and we threw our hands into the air and screamed when the D.J. played YMCA.

There was freedom and love and a fanfare of fun that weaved through that place and touched every soul in that room. Love that was so real, you could touch it.

I remember kicking my shoes off and hoisting tiers of satin to dance--dance so free, I didn't care if the hem of my dress was scuffed or if my bobby-pinned curls fell.

It was a surreal kind of happiness--a love for not only each other but for life and family and the amazing opportunity to have everyone who matters to you not only in one place at one time, but there to suck the marrow out of life with you.

We sucked the marrow alright. And they were not sips, oh no. They were big, hearty gulps and life just kept flowin'.

We join in the cheesy anniversary traditions of mankind on this day...traditions like leafing through the hundreds of wedding photos and watching our wedding video together, but now we watch with frequent pauses, to fill up a juice cup, change a diaper, dig through the toy box for a set of plastic keys to dangle in front of a bored little baby.

We set out in the evening to enjoy a real "grown up" date,
drinks and appetizers at a quaint bar with a piano man singing Elton John and then dinner at an upscale steakhouse, followed by a few beers at an Irish pub....like we used to do--except this time, we call home in between to ask Nana how the babies are doing and if Ry took her bottle.

Life has changed so very much in the past six years.

We've welcomed two babies...

...and have found so many new ways to love each other.

I found our wedding program this morning in an old box along with a reading by Thomas A. Kempis. In it, he says, "Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable."

...and I thought about these past several months and how having Kevin and our family and this rich, rich love really has made everything so smooth. And I've thought how destined everything seems to be--as if the planets aligned on that day six years ago so beautifully because this was all in store. And yes, our hardships are though as if it were nothing, and all bitterness has been rendered sweet and acceptable.

And for all the crazy fun we've had...

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...there is so much more.

For all the tears we've shared...yes, I'm sure more of them too. But for the trillions of this-is-it moments--moments when the world seems to slow for just a bit for us to feel it, when we look around at our kids and what we have and how far we've come...yes, there are so many more.

This picture is, by far, both Kev's and my favorite picture of the two of us. It was taken a few days after our wedding in Lake Tahoe on the side of the road. It was the most perfect day ever, we were driving back from Sonoma and we ended up in a blizzard and we were just bathing in happiness.

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We don't have the perfect marriage, no. We forget to communicate sometimes or get snappy or forget to invest in just the two of us. My Hansel-and-Gretel trail of messes annoys him, and it drives me nuts that his "just running to Starbucks for a cup of coffee" turns into hours of tooting around town. We don't always agree on things, but we know that. We say sorry and we try harder and we continually perfect our battle of struggle and repair and struggle and repair and, in doing so, are building something bigger that slowly gains more strengths and less struggles.

Overall...we love. We love deeply and, in six years, we've added to the things we love and, consequently, have become happier.

And, we know what's important...

...and invest in it like crazy.

So, here's to that happy day, the six years in between, and the many more on the way.

Happy 6 Months Ry-Bug

2011-02-17T16:37:00.023-06:00

Rylee~

This is where I felt you kick for the very first time.....right here on this very hammock just a little over 11 months ago.

How surreal.

How incredibly beautiful.

I had no idea what was in store for us, our family. I also had no idea that I would ever began to fathom a love so deep and so pure.

You complete us, Rylee Bug....and as cliche as that may sound, it is the absolute truth.

At 6 months, you are so spunky.....our little squealy firecracker! You love being tickled on your belly and your feet. You want to be included at ALL times and you really speak (squeal) your voice. This past month we said good bye to our baby carrier and hello to our Big Girl car seat and wow! What a difference it has made. I used to dread having to drive anywhere for fear that you would scream the entire way....but not now sister, you love it! You kick your little legs in excitement when I buckle you in and it must be so cushy and cozy because you fall asleep easier. You love that you can see Bubba better and he will just entertain you and sing to you until your little hearts content!

You have tried rice cereal, pears, prunes, applesauce, sweet potatoes, and green beans so far and are practicing drinking water in your sippy cup. Rylee, you make Mommy laugh so hard while eating.

Most babies let their Mommies feed them with a spoon....you, my dear, see that spoon coming your way and grab it with your little paws and shove it into your mouth yourself! Ha!

You are nursing about 6 times a day and are sleeping from 8-midnight and then midnight to 7 a.m. All we have to do is make sure you are dry and that your tummy is full and then walk you into your room, lay you on your tummy with a sassy and your blankie and say, "Night Night" and you're out! Just.Like.That.

You take a morning nap from 9-11, and then an afternoon nap from about 2-5. You really are an easy baby. Yes, we have our bumps and bruises sometimes, but for the most time you are just happy go lucky!

We had to take you to the doctor this past month for a little cold that you just couldn't seem to kick. Both you and Mommy ended up with an upper respiratory infection that lasted about a week. No fun!

Rylee, at 6 months you are weighing in at 17.7 lbs and are 26.5m inches long. That puts you in the 85th % tile for both!! Dr Terry was so impressed! You are rolling all over the place and can sit up for about a minute before tiring out. You are wearing 6-9 months in clothes, size 2 shoes, and size 3 diapers. I put you in a size 4 at night.

You are sitting up in the stroller and when we go out to eat, you sit in a highchair like a big girl.

Grayson is still your biggest fan and oh, how you love him!! You two can entertain each other for hours. Sometimes he's a little rough with you in my eyes, but you just squeal with delight!

Some of your favorite things at the moment are:
your blankie (it was Great Grannie's doll blanket)
your sassies
your two middle fingers
your thumb
necklaces
Daddy's beard
Mommy's nose and chin (you like to give them kisses)
your activity table
bath time
sitting up in the stroller
being in the Mommy Wrap
walker
and jumperoo

Oh the bitter sweetness of my babies getting older.

Sigh.

My view for so very long was all wrapped up here.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing From above the big belly and all about what was inside.

And now my eyes gaze upon the purest of pure, made in the most Perfect image, nursing at my breast, secure and certain of my love, as this crazy world goes on around us.

Yesterday I stepped outside and looked up. When was the last time any of us really observed the sky?
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingRylee, you do it all the time. And you remind me to breathe. In and out. It's a lot to take in... it goes on forever. It has stories to tell. It's so big and will make you realize just how small you are. And also how real. And alive.

We are just walking around His brushstrokes....remember that, angel.

And it's so beautiful, this life.

All About the Love

2011-02-14T13:39:00.009-06:00

It's February.

And it's all about the love.

The love for heart shaped pizzas.

The love for sweet treats.

The love that I have for them.

I'm so in love!

3.5

2011-02-10T16:33:00.000-06:00

My Grayson Michael,

Today you are 3 1/2. Three and a half. 3.5.....halfway to four.

You are the biggest Big Boy and the best Big Brother that I have ever seen. Every morning you wake up around 7:30 (although there have been times where it was earlier.....much earlier), tip toe into my room, gently tap on my shoulder with your sweet, little hands and say, "Mom, I need you."

Every.single.morning.

And so it goes. I walk you into the movie room, turn on your shows, make you a cup of juice, and go back to bed.

You let Sissy and I sleep for a few more hours before deciding that you are ready for a "snack". We argue about how you have to eat breakfast before you have a snack....you usually stomp your feet and cross your arms and "Hmpf" a couple of times, but Mommy always wins. You are so three.

Your most popular phrases of the moment are:

"That's the deal" (when you've decided your way is all that matters)

"Is that a good deal?" (after bartering with me)

"Mom, I love you" (at least 10 times a day for no reason)

"Oh, good morning Wy Wee" (everytime you see your sister)

Grayson, you are so incredibly headstrong. A trait you most definitely get from your Daddy, Pappi, and Nana. But you can also be an emotional roller coaster at times....a trait you've most definitely gotten from your Mommy. Most days you are so cool to be around....like a little Kevin. You dropped your naps a few weeks ago and can handle it for the most part, but some days I find you fast asleep on the movie room couch at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. You have "quiet time" everyday during the week, which consists of a movie of your choice, a little snack, and you laying on the couch in the movie room. You are not allowed off the couch while the movie is on, and if caught, you have to go to your bed and take a nap.
This usually gives me a moment to gather my thoughts and let me have quiet time, too.

You have attached yourself to your "Jessie"....a little Lego figurine from Toy Story 3....she goes EVERYWHERE with you. It's really cute but also a little ridiculous because she's a LEGO and no bigger than my thumb, which results in losing her frequently.

You may think, "what's the big deal??"

The big deal is that you can't buy her separately, oh no! She only comes in a $15 kit with her horse and a train and a train station, which you could give two hoots about.....you only play with her. She's been lost twice and you absolutely cannot live without her. Thus, we have had to purchase a whole other kit.

You do the math.

Grayson, you have impressed your Daddy and I so much these past few months. You no longer inform us that you need to potty, you just go. You've gotten really good at
putting on and taking off your clothes all by yourself and you can even brush your teeth really well. You are an amazing sleeper and have been since about a year old. You can put your dirty dishes in the sink and your trash in the trash can....you even know what things you should recycle. So smart!

You can count to 20 and know all your colors and half of your letters. You can draw straight and squiggly lines and are learning how to trace very well. You are so smart when it comes to computer games....you figure them out faster than I can read you the directions...even with adult games.

You are wearing size 4 pants and shirts and sometimes size 5 and size 9 shoes. I think you weigh somewhere around 34 lbs. You are so muscular, no more baby fat!! We got your hair cut a few months ago...like a real big boy haircut and it looks awesome but it makes you look SO grown up.

You love taking baths.
We found you a little shaving kit that looks like Daddy's and you think you are so stinkin' cool. You hate getting your hair washed and are starting to become quite the picky eater. You're on a grilled cheese kick these days....it has to be yellow cheese, though, unlike your cheese sticks....those have to be white. No more mustard on your sandwiches, just plain. Who are you???
You used to eat anything that we put infront of you. Sadly, those days are over. You only like raw carrots with ranch, grapes, chicken nuggets, string cheese, grilled cheese with turkey, tortillas with queso, hamburgers, lunchables, and pancakes. That's it.

You are such an amazing big brother.....Rylee idolizes you. She can be screaming or squawking one minute and then she spots you or hears you and the biggest smile pops on her face!! Oh how she loves you!

You are my big boy! My sweet Bubba. My baby. My oldest.

There are benefits of being the oldest, the first born.
No hand-me-downs, everything you get is new. You're always the first to do something new or reach a milestone ... first to walk, first to have a first birthday, first to start preschool. By default, a bigger deal is made of all your "firsts."

You were the first baby I'd ever held that was my own. The first baby to be brought into our home to stay. The first to teach me a mother's love. The first. It has its privileges, ya know.

It also has its disadvantages. Also by default, I expect more from you. You should know better than to splash water out of the tub. You should know better than to pinch or hit. You should know to share. You are the oldest, after all.

By this birthright, right or wrong, you are responsible beyond your years. Greater expectations and discipline are sought from you. You become the target of my frustration, brokenness and exhaustion when you have no ability to understand any of the three.
And for all of it I'm sorry.

I see in you the worry-wort, hot-head and caretaker that I believe are genetically yours. Passed down from your Daddy and your Nana. Both first born, by the way. I sometimes see these traits in you, and wish I could somehow erase them all.
I also wonder how much I've taught you, versus how much you were destined to acquire despite my example. I'm sorry that I'm just a great big ball of emotions and that I wear my heart on my sleeve.....you, too will acquire these traits, if you haven't already.

Chances are you will always expect more from yourself than others do. Chances are you will worry constantly, and when there's nothing left to fret about, worry about that too. Chances are you will feel responsible for things you have no control over or ability to change. Chances are ...

In life, though, you take the good with the bad. What you get in high expectations, you don't get in hand-me-downs. You'll have to accept my desire to instill discipline in you, in exchange for a part of me only you will ever get to hold.

I promise you unconditional love that you'll never know from another and promise that you'll begin to understand it all when you hold that very first baby of your own.

Until then, please try to understand I only want the very best for you, even if it brings out my worst.

And also know that I will never tire of being woken up in the wee hours of the morning by your sweet voice saying, "Mom, I need you."

Happy Half Birthday!

Love, Mom

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2011-02-09T17:03:00.008-06:00

Which is Which???

2011-02-07T11:23:00.008-06:00

It probably would be harder to tell if one didn't have tootsie roll pop eyes

and the other.....beautiful blue!

Oh my babies, I love you so much!!

Dear Rylee: Happy 5 Months

2011-01-17T19:44:00.021-06:00

As I type this, you are asleep on my lap, your perfect head warming my knee, your chubby monkey legs dangling comfortably across my thighs and one of your socks, as usual, hanging on for dear life as an almost-bare footie is revealed.

And it is with this I'd like to start my post--this adoration for babyhood once again. I never can get over it...this loving having babies. And I can honestly say that I know I won't look back with regret. I know I won't want to shake that younger version of myself years from now and tell her to enjoy it while she has it. Because I do. Every bit of it. I savor the weight of your body and the way it falls into the hammock of my arms. I drink in your breathy exhales and the way you root at my neck when I hold you close, smelling your mama's skin, wanting more.
I cherish every second of nursing, the way your tiny fingers curl around mine, your thin lashes batting as your brilliant blue eyes lock their gaze onto mine, the perfect pout of your pink lips as they latch on and the relief of all sixteen pounds of you as you settle into pure satisfaction. And you breathe--in and out, in and out--and with each suck, each breath, it's as if love is literally moving with the rhythm of our feeding ceremony.

There is such peace in my life when I'm mothering my babies. Not to diminish at all the beauty of toddler wonders--Lord knows that possesses its own magic--but there is something so raw and beautiful about sustaining the life of the tiniest of forms and hanging on to the remnants of the physical connection we shared not so long ago. You grew inside me just a little over five months ago and I birthed you into this world and, as you grow and learn and drink in this universe, it's just a constant reminder of the amazement and beauty of life.

You, sweet girl, had me at hello. I may not have known it then, but you did. You had me just.like.that. From the very moment our eyes met in that pure white room, that innocent, animal like cry....I can see it all in my mind like it was yesterday.

I left you alone with Daddy overnight this past month for the very first time. And it was good for both of us. I was a sight to see riding in the car to Houston pumping every couple of hours. But you did great, sweet girl!! I knew that you would! And when I got home and our eyes locked, you gave me the biggest smile and secretly told me to never leave you again. I heard you.

I walked by the swing the other day and saw a little elephant toy had been rigged up to hang in view and, before I could ask, Grayson explained, "I did it. She likes it." I smiled and passed it off as one of those cute little brother things Grayson convinces himself is true, but then later I saw you laying in your swing.....talking to it.

So, I guess he's right.

You've also discovered that your little fingers and toes taste delicious and watching you tediously look for them and score on their arrival to your little mouth for some good sucking is like watching a good movie.

...and hello sweet little feet. If I had a penny for every precious picture we've taken of ripe little toes, well we'd be stinkin' rich.

Lively.

That sums you up in one word at five months.

Full of life and love and simply delicious.

I love you to the moon and back sweet Rylee Bug!!!

~Love Mom

Happy New Year!!!

2011-01-11T00:23:00.008-06:00

We marinated steaks and grilled asparagus and put on our comfy clothes.

We wore masks, party hats, and tiaras and ate gourmet cupcakes.

We popped corks and drank spicy juice and tooted our own horns.

All as a party of four.

We put the babies to bed, popped another cork (or three), curled up on the couch in the movie room and exhaled.

As a party of two.

My heart is happy. Busy and overwhelmed at times. Frustrated and a bit sad once in a great while. But, most of the time...it clocks out content. And for that, I am grateful.

Last year, I dreamed of this.

And this year...I have this.

I have this.

And I'm pretty sure, if you look for it, you do too.

Happy 2011!!!

This Christmas......

2011-01-10T21:36:00.059-06:00

...we made a big 'ol delicious mess in the kitchen making cookies for Santa. And it was a beautiful mess. With squillions of little, red sprinkles everywhere. And it made me really miss Bentley...she would've had a hay day licking them all up off the floor.

We prepared a Mexican feast of tamales, fajitas, enchiladas, homemade salsa and stuffed jalapenos and ate until our hearts were content and we could no longer breathe. We sat around the room watching the sheer excitement on the Little's faces as they got "the best present ever".

We played The Newlywed Game and laughed our heinies off at the ridiculous answers that our better halves gave......and some of us may or may not have pouted. Just a little. We celebrated two very special birthdays and even blew out their candles for them. After relighting and making their wishes............ we ate cake.

Red velvet. And brownie pie. And chocolate mouse pie. And key lime pie. And fudge.

Needless to say, we were on a sugar-induced high that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. (1 a.m.)

I gained a few pounds and new smile wrinkles that night. After packing up the Little's and heading the long journey home (just kidding, we live .8 miles from my parents now), we sat out our cookies for Santa and tucked them in and let their tiny heads fill with sugar plum dreams.

And then it was.

Christmas.

Her first and his fourth. And it was perfect.

I'm very well aware that I will forever remember that exact moment. The way his flannel reindeer jammies hung on his body and the intent look on his face as he woke up that morning and made a beeline to his little tree in the playroom and then turned with the saddest look ever and said, "Mommy, Santa didn't come." "Yes he did, baby.....he put your present on the fireplace.....see?" I guess with all the talk about Santa and explaining that he brings one very special toy to good little girls and boys on Christmas Eve while you're sleeping and that he needs cookies and milk to get him through the night because he travels all over the world in such a short time frame......we forgot to mention that he comes down the chimney.

Hmmmmmm. I can't believe I forgot that part. So, he ran to the fireplace and all was right with the world.

I will forever remember how content she was....just laying in front of the fire watching her snow globe. And we opened presents from one another and took little breaks here and there to play with the new and then opened some more.

We had brunch with Nana and Pawpaw and then headed to Mimi and Pappi's for more celebrating. And that's where we got the best.present.ever.

Aunt Emily had very sneakily flown in from Cali without anybody knowing! What a wonderful surprise!! I walked in the kitchen at my in-laws and there she was! It was awesome. And awesome to see the surprise on everyone else's face as they realized she was home.

That night we ate Mexican pile-on and opened presents with the boys. The little girls didn't quite make it.....they needed their beauty rest. I think Grayson said "Oh my gosh" no less than 20 times as he opened all of his goodies. They stayed up all night making hot dogs and hamburgers and hot coffee for everyone.

We slept in on Christmas morning and woke to yummy breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls.....and then it was the girls turn. They both were decked out in their Christmas pretties and just giggled and cooed at all of their sweet presents.

Mimi made the most adorable matching purple corduroy dresses and dolls for them both. She also made each one of them a pillow and blanket to match their nursery....so very sweet and so special! After the girls were finished, we opened stockings and then all sat around for our traditional Christmas story. Each year, Uncle Mark reads the story of Jesus' birth aloud. The boys knew the story by heart and could answer all of Uncle Mark's questions. After the story, the boys made a birthday cake for Baby Jesus.

We sang Happy Birthday and had cake and sugar highs by 11:30. It was AWESOME! We left that afternoon and headed home to a house that looked like a bomb had gone off. This was, by far, my most favorite Christmas yet. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real and good and comfortable. And maybe....because of them.

A 1st and 4th.....

2010-12-24T00:40:00.002-06:00

As I sit by the fire nursing my baby girl the night before Christmas Eve, I think of a newborn little boy, laying in a manger. And the sacrifice our Father made for people that would hate Him, and for people that would try to love Him, but would always be hurting Him and failing Him. And would I ever be able to fathom it? My baby?

I hold Rylee a little tighter and am thankful I don't have to make that choice. And as a Mother, I understand it completely.

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Before I put her to bed tonight, I smelled her. Just inhaled right in the crook of her neck. And she smiled. And I explained, as if she would understand...."I'm smelling you so I never ever forget because someday, I'm gonna want this moment back, right here."

I find myself saying that to her more and more.

And I kissed. And I smelled. And I squeezed. And I breathed in every bit of her love.

I want to stop the clock and just enjoy this a little longer.

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She doesn't know it's her first Christmas.....but I do.

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I love her.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I love him and I love him, too.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I do.

Whew. Just had to get that out of my system tonight.

Merry Christmas.

Dear Rylee, Month Four: Chubby Legs and All

2010-12-17T14:25:00.010-06:00

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The fact that I have a girl is starting to sink in

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and I think the baby high just took me higher.

Four months ago, at this very moment, I was holding you for the very first time.

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Wow.

It's already going by too fast.

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Oh sweet Ry bug,

How can it be that four months ago you were born? Four???

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Today is the first day of your fifth month and I don't want to talk about it. You're so perfect just as you are right now that I'm having a very hard time parting with so much as an hour, a moment... Heck! I don't even want today to end because tomorrow you will be a day older.

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Uuuughh. Lots of emotions floating around with Christmas and the end of another year. So much love. When we arrived at Dr Terry's today, the nurses went crazy!! They were going on and on about how all week they were getting to hold the cutest babies all decked out in their Christmas outfits, and how you, by far, took the cake. I would have to agree.....

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there's really nothing cuter than a chubby cheek 4 month old in her Christmas pretties.

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Seriously.

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I held you today, so close to my chest, at the Dr.'s office, not wanting to ever put you down. And the scale reminded me of just how big you have gotten in these last few, precious months.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing15 pounds of the sweetest, most delicious taste of Heaven, right here in my arms. And to think that it's been all me, Mommas milk is pretty dang good, huh baby girl?

You have grown 2 inches in the last 2 months, putting you at 25 inches. Your sweet, little head has grown an inch....no wonder your little knit hats are getting snug.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingYou are continuously learning new things every day, like pulling your sassy in and out of your mouth all.by.yourself. You can roll from your tummy to back and almost from your back to tummy....your chubby, little legs just kick and kick so hard trying to turn over until you just give out. Everything goes straight to your mouth!
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingI thought you might be teething already since you drool like a leaky faucet, but Dr. Terry says that's just an oral thing that starts around 4 months...no swollen gums just yet! You are wearing sz 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. You are nursing about every 4 hours during the day and then cluster feeding from 6-midnight. You take about 3 naps every day, two short and one long. You and I take our baths together and then you are in bed around 8 and you usually need one more snack before snoozing till 5 a.m. Mommy tried to put you to bed un-swaddled the other night and you were up every.single.hour. on the hour. Not fun for me. I learned my lesson and after talking to your Dr today, she said to keep you swaddled as long as you will let me.

She also said no solids till 5 1/2-6 months. Oops. I gave you rice cereal the other night....good thing you despised it with everything inside of you. I don't know why I did it, I keep saying I don't want to rush anything with you....food, juice, crawling, walking, talking.....just stay little. Forever.

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Rylee, since the day you were born, maybe even before, I've felt like every moment with you is like Christmas morning. I really don't know how else to explain it.

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There is nothing like a Mama and her little boy. My heart will always feel this way.

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But it wouldn't be truthful for me to hide the sparkles in my heart and the tingles from the top of my head to the ends of my toes that I have for you, my sweet baby girl.

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As I dress you for our Christmas celebration at church tomorrow night in your ruffled tights, beautiful dress, and bow for your head I will feel like every crevice in my being is complete.

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It's in little moments like this that I truly feel like I have it all.

I'm where I am. Wherever that is. It's where I should be.

Recognizing I'm so incredibly blessed that it can not be contained. That's the abundance I seek.

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Four months. Four beautiful, incredible months. I can't imagine you any other way than how you are right now, in this very moment, asleep in the nook of my left arm as I type with my right, clinging to what's left of your infancy, holding on to your tiny hands for dear life.

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Time moves far too quickly. Someone please invent a pause button.

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It's your first Christmas, Rylee, and it's going to be so special.

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Much love little angel, so much love.

~Momma

"Probably Not a Tradition...

2010-12-16T14:43:00.014-06:00

....so much as a one time thing". These are the words that my husband said to me as I got back in the car on Sunday after raising the wooden arm (all by myself) to let our car out of The Gaylord Texan.

And I couldn't agree more with him.

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All pictures that you are about to see are made of 100% ice:

I'm sure you've probably all heard of "ICE".

As in:

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Every year the Gaylord Texan has a truly spectacular 14,000-square-foot ICE! exhibit that features a variety of magical holiday scenes and sculptures hand-carved by 40 visiting artisans from Harbin, China.

Every visitor will feel as though they have been transported to the North Pole as they bundle up in warm parkas and enter a winter wonderland created with TWO MILLION pounds of ice and kept at a wintry 9 degrees.

This year the Gaylord Texan and ICE! have really out done themselves by recreating Charlie Brown and the Whole Peanuts Gang from a Charlie Brown Christmas.
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Well, let me just say that if your 3 1/2 year old
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Now, the whole ICE concept is cool, don't get me wrong. But, being huddled together with 100 other people that you don't know
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingwhile walking like a flock of penguins because it is so cramped, on top of wearing "eye-catching" blue parkas that have kept 50 million other Texans warm without EVER being washed on top of your every day winter coat, with a 4 month old human strapped to your chest.....
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingwell, it didn't feel like I was walking in a wintry 9 degree wonderland.

It felt miserable.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingI was nauseous half the time because I couldn't breathe. Kevin was chasing Gray around
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingconstantly telling him not to lick the ICE and trying desperately hard not to lose him amongst the 99 other blue parka wearing folk. Lil Miss Sassy did sleep the entire time, which was nice, but she was also radiating heat like a 9 month preggo in August.....and since she was strapped to my chest under my wool coat AND a big, blue parka, I had to just leave her there. Sweating.

By time we finally reached the end of the "magical holiday trail", we were exhausted and grumpy.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingAs for the kids, she was hungry and he was thirsty. So, while Prissy and I found a quiet place to nurse....Kev and Grayson spent $12 on an apple juice and an 8 oz bottle of water. Sweet.

After two timeouts and several threats of leaving before sliding down the snow hill,
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And it was AWESOME and the ticket had already been purchased so no sense wasting anymore money than necessary.

So down he went, not once but three times!!

And finally he was pooped out
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So, I guess if you've never experienced ICE yourself, it's worth seeing.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingOnce. But, I don't think it will be a Richard's Family Christmas tradition like I had thought.
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Seeing Grayson's face light up with fear and oh-my-gosh-this-is-the-funnest-thing-ever
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It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Christmas.....

2010-12-03T23:11:00.014-06:00

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Ok, ok.....so maybe it has looked like Christmas for a while now at The Richard's household. November 2nd, to be exact. I think Kevin's words were, "Why does it look like Christmas threw up in our living room two days after Halloween, Missy?"

I just kept my mouth shut and kept on humming "Jingle Bells" while carefully placing the ornaments on the tree. He wasn't gonna ruin my Christmas spirit!

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I can't help it!! I love Christmas....the smells, the music, the decorations and I want to enjoy it without the stress of putting it up to just take it back down again in 30 days. I feel if I put it up at the first of November, I'm more ready to take it down come January.

And so it is.

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And it's beautiful and I LOVE coming home and sitting on the couch with my littles and just staring at the twinkling lights.

And she loves it, too.

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Speaking of twinkling.....

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we finally are able to use our fireplace. When we moved in, we noticed that the owners before us had taken the gas logs and the key from our fireplace...not really sure why. So, last year we didn't use the fireplace. Ever. I begged and begged Kev to have it fixed this year, because I think even though we live in Texas, it's still nice to have a cracklin' fire in the winter. It just goes together like beans and cornbread....Christmas and fire.

So he finally got it all put together last night and it is simply beautiful. The pictures don't do it justice. It has amber and clear colored broken glass
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printinginstead of gas logs and the fire just makes it sparkle like diamonds. I love, love, love it!!

Listening to the crackling of the fire, I ceremoniously addressed, stamped, and stuffed all of my Christmas cards last night.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing All but 5....I can't believe I didn't order enough this year. Thank goodness I had a coupon for 5 free photo cards from Shutterfly plus free shipping...now I just have to wait for them to come in the mail. Please don't fret if you haven't received a card from us yet, as you are most likely one of the five.

I love holiday traditions and sharing them with Grayson
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing and now, Rylee. In the past, I have always waited until Grayson was asleep to decorate the tree....something about the peace and calm and quiet while I'm opening each ornament box or unfolding the stockings, I don't know, it puts me in a state of zen...and Lord knows I don't get that often. But this year, I waited until they were awake from their naps to start. I wanted to see through their eyes the transformation that goes along with the trimming and lighting of the tree.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing So I put on some holiday tunes (thank you Direct TV and your many choices)and went to work.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing It was nice....not zen....but nice. After about 20 minutes, Gray was bored and Ry was entranced in the lights.
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My mom gave us alot of her decorations this year...enough for an entire tree. So, Daddy of course had to go to Lowe's and get the kiddos their very own tree. It's precious.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing All the ornaments have an outdoors-woodsy feel to them and it looks adorable in their playroom.

Rylee has a pink tree in her room
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We also decided this year would be our first year to put up lights outside. Kev and my dad did a fantastic job...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingI was really impressed. I love driving home at night and seeing our festive Christmas lights.

I'm all about traditions....so this year I decided to start a new one. Have you heard of The Elf on the Shelf??
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Pottery Barn and Barnes and Noble carries it and I'm sure Amazon, too. It's a beautifully illustrated Christmas book about your very own elf that comes to stay with you through the holidays. He watches you throughout the day to make sure you are being nice and not naughty and then reports to Santa each night. After going to sleep, he magically flies to the North Pole to work in Santa's workshop and is back each morning in a different spot.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing The book actually comes with an eight inch tall elf and it's so fun watching Gray look for him each morning when he wakes up. You also get to name your elf. Ours is "Turtle". Grayson named him. But the deal is....you can't touch him....ever. It will make his magic flying powers go away so he's always up high on a shelf, or a picture, or the top of the curtains, or the fridge looking down.

Grayson is slowly getting the "Santa" thing.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing He knows that he will bring him one very special gift on Christmas Eve if he has been really good.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing The rest of the gifts are from Mommy and Daddy and family to celebrate Jesus's birthday.

He's not so much interested in Santa's workshop and the North Pole
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing as he is in Bethlehem and why Mary and Joseph had to sleep in a stable and why Baby Jesus didn't have a baby bed like Sissy. "Why those wise mans are scared of the angels, Mommy and why Mary's tummy isn't big like when Wywee was in your tummy?" Oh, that kid....so inquisitive! But trust me, I've got answers for all.

That's one thing I'm really good at and it comes naturally....answering the "hard" questions.

While standing in the Apple store one day getting my phone fixed, someone tripped the alarm-Grayson: "Mommy, why is that alarm going off? It's SOOO loud" Me: "Because some little boy wandered too far away from his Mommy".
Whatever works, right?

This Christmas is going to be magical!
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I love watching Grayson take it all in and constantly asking, "Is today Christmas, Mommy?" "What about today??"

I'm a bit disappointed that this is my first post for December and here it is half way over.....but I have lots of pictures and stories,
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I just have to find the time to post them. You would think staying at home now that I would have plenty of time, but these two keep me busy from about 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and then I just want to cuddle on the couch with Kev and enjoy a nice glass (or two) of wine.

One of these days I will be on top of things. The laundry will be washed and folded and put away, dinner will be on the table when Kevin walks in the door, I will have showered and brushed my teeth and maybe even put on a little make up, and the house will look like I spent hours cleaning it for longer than 2 minutes. One of these days I will be able to blog a little bit every other day with two hands typing instead of one, while the other holds a very needy 4 month old.

But you know what????

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When that day comes, I will wish from the bottom of my soul that I have that little 4month old bouncing on my knee while typing with one hand and a 3 1/2 year old two steps behind me pulling out ALL the toys that I just cleaned up.

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And so it goes.

Vicious, meet my friend......Circle.

A Bless-able Thanksgiving

2010-11-30T21:37:00.019-06:00

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I prepped 3 nights for the big day. When you have a three year old and a three month old, well....tasks take a little longer than usual. Hence, putting up my Christmas tree two days after Halloween. Perfection takes time, people!

I started on Monday night and finished late Wednesday night.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I boiled the chicken for my Grannie's famous dressing.....mixed the homemade mac n cheese...
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing (YUMMMMMM!!!!)...and boiled the giblets for the gravy....ew gross!

Fall is my favorite season and Thanksgiving....
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingmy favorite holiday, by far.

I made sure my corn casserole was set, crumbled the cornbread and chopped all my celery and onions, finishing them off with a few sprinkles of sage and some generous shakes of salt and pepper.

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After all that work, I tasted, as any good chef must do.

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It was perfect. Just like Grannie's.

And let me just say, for the record....chicken and dressing is NOTHING like stuffing. It's so very moist with shredded chicken throughout and the stress was on, people, because if you serve dry dressing....well, you've pretty much ruined Thanksgiving.

So back to slaving in the kitchen....around the corner came Grayson, wearing a sheepish grin and holding a bottle of bubbles. Empty bottle of bubbles, might I add. "I painted it....with my paint," he fessed up.

Needless to say...

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I had to take a break from my Thanksgiving feast to clean up a full bottle 'o bubbles "painted" on my brown leather couch......and rug. Awesome.

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I love Thanksgiving. The decorations, the smells, the food, the chaos, the chopping, the football, the heat in the kitchen, and the "I can't eat another bite....oh, there's homemade key lime pie?"...fullness at the end of the day.

I love the gathering around the kitchen ,holding hands and my Mom saying "grace" and my Dad piping up to make sure we all know that my Mom won't let him say grace this year because he always has too much to be thankful for. I love the love that they have for one another after 35 years...and oh how I pray Kevin and I are still like them when Gray and Ry are grown.

And my Dad got me thinking...what am I thankful for and what do I want my kids to be thankful for?

Lord knows I'm grateful....I tell Him each and every day.
But I want my children to know how good they have it....I want them to feel appreciated and to be gracious and to know that our Lord has given us so much to be thankful for.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing We have each other, our health, our home, our family, our jobs, our faith, our freedom......
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingwe just have so much.

And this past year, I feel like I've learned more about God and His Word than the last 30 years combined. I've learned that when you give the first 10% to Him, He will bless the rest. Every.Single.Time.

For so many years, I never gave to Him what was His already. Then, when I did, it was just what little we had left over at the end of each month....very, very little. But He says in Malachi 3:8-9, "Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me. But you say, Wherein have we robbed you? In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse: for you have robbed Me, even this whole nation”

For so many years, I was living under a curse. If I had only known (took the time to listen and read His word) that by giving Him the first 10%, He would bless the rest....I would have been living a much easier life.

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God has blessed Kevin and I beyond belief. His truth frees us from financial worries and gives us a peace of mind, fulfillment and eventually eternal life.

Sometimes I wonder how many times I can tell God that I'm so un-deserving of His many blessings??

And although we talk about Thanksgiving being about Plymouth and Spanish explorers and the Santa Maria and "bountiful harvests", I want my children to understand that the true meaning of thanksgiving is thanking Him for all our wonderful blessings.

And talk about "seeing is believing"......

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...I saw it...when no one was looking. Right when the kitchen was crazy
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Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing and little toddler hands were being washed of all the dirt from playing outside in the freezing cold and my baby was being rocked in the old chair by her Great Grannie and hot padded dishes
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing were being carefully carried to the table. And my mom hollered for everyone to come and hold hands and say Grace, and I watched as conversations were wrapped up and plates were served to the Littles and heads were tipped with laughter. I watched as my Mother in Law held my daughter with so much love and I wanted to just kiss the universe because my children get to know what a Grandparents love feels like.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing And right about then, I wanted to grab my kids and kiss them, whisper into their ears...."This is Thanksgiving. This, right here, is being thankful. Drink it in, Babies. Drink it in."

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And then you just hope they get it. That over time, they know that they are blessed and that they are bless-able,
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing a phrase that I've learned....just this year and that there are so many places in this world, in this country, in this little town, where there is pain and need and hunger. And knowing just how good it feels to have it, you hope they give it back.

So, sitting here now, I'm thankful for everything that I've been given. I'm thankful that God deemed me as being "bless-able". I'm thankful for two little lives that depend solely on me and their Daddy.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Life is good.

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Life is SO very good.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I Am Thankful For....

2010-11-24T00:17:00.005-06:00

...sweet Mommy gifts and how in his eyes, leaves are just as good as diamonds.

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...cheeks that smell like cookies and sticky, slobbery fists.

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...his sweet spirit and mad hiding skills.

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...her beautiful blue-ocean eyes.

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...the way he loves her.

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...the way she lets him.

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I am so very thankful for my littles, my babies, my loves....
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My heart.

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Dear Rylee~

2010-11-17T20:20:00.002-06:00

You are three months old today.

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How can it be? It seems as though I was waiting forever and preparing and rushing for you to arrive and now you're here and teaching me to slow down.

Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

We went from a family of three to a family of four exactly three months ago. And time, for a while, seemed to stop in the warmth of our happiness and love and life.

And when time started up again, it took a slower pace.

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A cricket chirped outside the window early this morning before the sun came up. Would I have noticed it before? I bring you to my chest and breathe in the quiet. The breeze through the open window tells tales of autumn. Soft sighs chirp from you bundled in my arms.

You smell like Heaven and it's so incredibly hard for me to put you down even for a second. You are Momma's girl, sweet Rylee.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Okay, okay....you're Daddy's girl, too. I think he has some sort of magical potion that calms you the second he scoops you up.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingYou just sort of melt into his chest while letting out a sweet sigh the moment he holds you. Daddy's little girl.

At three months, you have most definitely graduated from the newborn stage. The thrush is gone and nursing is blissful again. You are wearing size 2 diapers and I dressed you in your first 3-6 month outfit yesterday.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing You can still wear some of your 0-3 clothes. You are still swaddled for every nap and at night. The Miracle Blanket is a miraculous thing....I'm just saying.

You started sleeping in your crib about two weeks ago and have adjusted well. You are a tummy sleeper and this freaked Momma out for a bit, but I think I finally figured it out. It's rather simple, I just swaddle you in the Miracle Blanket and then lay you on your side on the changing pad that is in your crib. I roll a thick blanket and place it in front of your tummy so you feel like you are sleeping on your tummy but are actually on your side and cannot roll. Genius, I know.

I have the camera monitor right in front of your face so that I can see you fall asleep. Daddy thinks it's creepy, but I love watching your little eyelids get so heavy until they finally close.

You are nursing about 6 times a day and taking 3 naps. You usually fall asleep about an hour after you wake up in the mornings, then take your big nap from 1-4 in the afternoon, then take a short snoozer between 5:30 and 6:30. You are sleeping through the night and for the most part, have been since you were 6 weeks old. I usually put you down around 9:30 and bring you to my bed around 6:30 in the morning where I nurse you and you sleep with me till 9 or 10. You have proven to me that you can go 8-9 hours at night without nursing, but I usually have to go in your room a couple of times throughout the night to pop your sassy back in your mouth. You love to lay in my bed and nurse and have become a tad spoiled in this department. You usually fight me if I try to nurse you anywhere besides my bed or the rocking chair in your room. And that's okay with me....except when we are out running errands and you get hungry and sitting in the front seat of my car just won't do.

My sassy little girl.
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You are talking up a storm! I love hearing you babble away as if you think I know exactly what you are talking about. We started including you at the dinner table a few weeks ago and you just chat away, throwing in your two cents like the rest of us. You love your bouncy chair
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing and laying on the floor with your Baby Einstein mat. I also caught you gnawing on the elephant that hangs from your car seat....so cute! Oh and FYI, you despise your car seat....if there was a word stronger than "hate", I would use it to describe your feelings toward that contraption. I don't get it....but your brother hated his, too.

Rylee, you bring so much joy to this family.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Your brother tells you every.single.day. how much he loves you and thanks me for you. You have no idea how loved you are by each member of our little family. Your smile alone makes my heart do somersaults.

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I wanted you for so very long, my sweet, little angel.

You have this gentle calmness about you and when I feel irritated at life, all I have to do is pick you up and breathe you in.

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I've called on God's guidance in these calm moments more than ever. "Lord, let me mother my daughter according to Your will." His whispers are heard so clearly when I let go of the busy.

You may be new, but you bring with you the presence of old stories and songs with a lazy rhythm. Appreciate the silence, Mama. This stillness is for you and me.

And this is the stuff of life.

Happy 3 months, Rylee bug!!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
~Love Mama